Deb's Observations on French Social Life 12-9-15

Comments from Deb:
*In response to some questions about our evening out at a concert at a French lady's apartment, I'll try to answer some of your queries. There were about 40 people there and we sat on a variety of chairs, folding and otherwise in the L-shaped front room/dining room of her apartment. There was a grand piano in one corner of the room and the singer stood near the piano. The audience was arranged in two wings at a 90 degree angle to each other with the piano at the apex.
*Yup, we were the only "furriners" there, and as usual we were in over our heads. French good manners require that you circulate at gatherings, and particularly that you visit with any newcomers or lesser known guests. So that meant a bunch of very well meaning people attempting to make conversation with a pair of severely language handicapped Americans. Warren is utterly intrepid and ended up in a spirited political debate with a vehement blonde. The French adore political (and other) disputations and intensity is expected. I was simultaneously involved in a lively discussion of the Palestinian situation and the American viewpoint on a solution, a topic about which I was spectacularly unequipped, both linguistically and factually. I only remember needed vocabulary with a lag of several hours... One of our original acquaintances, Renault, commented quietly "Good luck. Hope you make it out alive" as he left me to my fate.
*On the question "what were they wearing?" - The ladies wore almost entirely black, white and grey, with just an occasional touch of red on a couple. Very understated - well cut pants, cashmere sweaters, interesting jackets or blazers. Virtually no discernable makeup. Unobtrusive but luxe gold, touches of platinum, discrete gems. I stood out as an etrangere since I wore a turquoise linen shirt and matching wool sweater with navy silk pants, and Zuni mosaic earrings and bracelet. Absolutely outrageous color choice on my part...
*The lady's apartment is decorated in understated modern, with attractive artwork and a few discretely beautiful antiques and textiles (a spectacular oriental silk tapestry for one.) The apartment is arranged on two floors. We were on the "public" floor, with the bedrooms and private spaces on the floor below. This is a very traditional Parisian arrangement, but in this case in a quite modern building.
*For me the most appealing parts of the apartment are the beautiful garden terraces on both floors. They've been designed into garden "rooms" with various pines, deciduous trees and flower boxes now planted with winter-blooming flowers like cyclemen. She has a white heritage rose trellis blooming in December! The terraces look to be about the size of the apartment itself. They're just charming. One of the other guests, who lives on a lower floor, commented that the whole building is proud of these terraces and that they've been featured in three magazine spreads. I can believe it.
*Several people asked if we found Parisians cold. The conversation led to the differences between French and American friendship patterns. I told them that I find that the French are more reserved initially but make deeper, more involved, longer lasting friendships. To my mind, Americans are friendly and open, but often relationships are more transitory, perhaps because of our lifestyle of moving so frequently. People was highly surprised at our having lived so long in Denver, and one commented that perhaps we "weren't really American."
*And lastly, on the topic of friendliness, one of the expat bloggers I read who lives in one of the downtown arrondissements was bemoaning the fact that after 18 months none of his local vendors seem to recognize him. I'm bemoaning just the opposite. I'm wishing for simple, monosyllabic, curt responses to questions. Instead, I get lovely, convoluted, complex responses that I can't follow. At our baker's, I wanted to ask how long in advance I need to order a Buche de Noel, the traditional Christmas cake in the shape of a log. I wanted a simple response like "3 days, or a week or a month." Instead I got a mutlti-sentence statement that caused some laughter in the people behind me in line, and then a cheery discussion between them and the baker, while I stood there clueless. It finished with several suggestions of what kind I should order, and people pointing at things in the cases and obviously offering me suggestions. And I still have no idea when I should order. I'll try the question again when it's just me and his wife at the shop. I can write it down if I have to. And make her do the same.